Teacher: This essay on your dog is, word for word, the same as your brother’s.
Student: Yes, teacher, it is the same dog.
Teacher: I would like each one of you to write the longest sentence you could compose.
A bright student wrote: Life Imprisonment!
Student: Eight copycats sat in a boat. One jumped out. How many were left?
Teacher: 7
Student: Zero. All were copycats.
Student: Teacher, what begins with T, ends with T and has T in it?
Teacher: ??
Student: A teapot.
Student: Teacher, why is number six afraid?
Teacher: ??
Student: Seven eight nine.
Teacher: (still) ??
Student: Because “Seven ate Nine”.
Student: Which two days of the week start with the letter T?
Teacher: Tuesday and Thursday.
Student: Wrong, it is today and tomorrow.
Teacher: What is a minimum?
Student: A very small mother (mini-mum).
Student: What do you call a dear with no eye?
Teacher: No idea.
Student: Teacher, you so clever. How come you know it is “No Eye Dear”?
Teacher: Because I am your teacher.
Student: Then what do you call a dear without an “ear”?
Teacher: No Ear Dear.
Student: Wrong, it is D.
Teacher: Why are you doing your mathematics multiplication on the floor?
Student: You told me to do it without using tables.
Teacher: How you do you spell crocodile?
Student: KRO-KO-DIAL.
Teacher: No, that is wrong.
Student: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Student: HIJKLMO.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Student: Yesterday you said it is H to O.
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Student: A teacher.
Teacher: Give me a sentence starting with ‘I’.
Student: I is…
Teacher: No… always say, ‘I am…’.
Student: All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet’.
…
Author’s Notes:
I do not claim ownership to these humors. I received them from emails. I am sharing them hoping to bring joy and laughter to you – as “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” – Proverb 17:22.
Charlie Heng 