Humor: Teacher and Student

Teacher: This essay on your dog is, word for word, the same as your brother’s.

Student: Yes, teacher, it is the same dog.

Teacher: I would like each one of you to write the longest sentence you could compose.

A bright student wrote: Life Imprisonment!

Student: Eight copycats sat in a boat. One jumped out. How many were left?

Teacher: 7

Student: Zero. All were copycats.

Student: Teacher, what begins with T, ends with T and has T in it?

Teacher: ??

Student: A teapot.

Student: Teacher, why is number six afraid?

Teacher: ??

Student: Seven eight nine.

Teacher: (still) ??

Student: Because “Seven ate Nine”.

Student: Which two days of the week start with the letter T?

Teacher: Tuesday and Thursday.

Student: Wrong, it is today and tomorrow.

Teacher: What is a minimum?

Student: A very small mother (mini-mum).

Student: What do you call a dear with no eye?

Teacher: No idea.

Student: Teacher, you so clever. How come you know it is “No Eye Dear”?

Teacher: Because I am your teacher.

Student: Then what do you call a dear without an “ear”?

Teacher: No Ear Dear.

Student: Wrong, it is D.

Teacher: Why are you doing your mathematics multiplication on the floor?

Student: You told me to do it without using tables.

Teacher: How you do you spell crocodile?

Student: KRO-KO-DIAL.

Teacher: No, that is wrong.

Student: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?

Student: HIJKLMO.

Teacher: What are you talking about?

Student: Yesterday you said it is H to O.

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

Student: A teacher.

Teacher: Give me a sentence starting with ‘I’.

Student: I is…

Teacher: No… always say, ‘I am…’.

Student: All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet’.

Author’s Notes:

I do not claim ownership to these humors. I received them from emails. I am sharing them hoping to bring joy and laughter to you – as “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” – Proverb 17:22.









What Is The Colour Of Spiderman?

A 6 years old Chinese boy in my tour group asked the tour guide today, “What is the colour of Spiderman?”

The tour guide replied, “That’s an easy question. The colours are blue, red and black.”

The boy shooked his head and said, “Wrong, it’s white because Spiderman 是白的 man!”

— For those who do not know Chinese: ‘是白的’ pronounced as ‘shi bai de’ which means ‘is white’. Spiderman sounds like ‘Shi Bai De Man’ in Chinese.


You Are My “Bak Kut Teh”

James and Sally, his newly wedded wife, were on a plane for their honeymoon vacation. During the journey, James took out his iPad, opened up his Bible app, and was soon reading Genesis 2:23 which read:

“And Adam said (to Eve), This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

Turning joyously to Sally, James said, “Dear, from now on you are my ‘Bak Kut Teh’.”

“Bak Kut Teh” literally translates as “meat bone tea”, and at its simplest, consists of meaty pork ribs simmered in a complex broth of herbs and spices for hours. Despite its name, there is in fact no tea in the dish itself. This dish is popularly served in Singapore, Malaysia, China and Taiwan.