Avoid scolding others “Stupid, you have a pig brain”, “You have a bird brain”.
The next time someone scolds you like that, kindly smiles back and says “Aiyoh, how come you are insulting the pigs and birds!”
Beware! The next time you scold others like that, you will be seen as a person who is insensitive with pigs and birds.
A conversation between a mother and her young child was overheard over breakfast.
Mother: Son, do you know what “Rule of Thumb” means?
Son: Mum, before I can answer it, whose thumb are you referring to?
A father bought a pair of fighting fishes. Soon this pair bred many baby fishes.
One afternoon, the father bought a small package of live worms. He asked his son for a razor blade.
The son asked: “Why do you need a razor blade?”
The father replied: “I needed it to cut the worms into smaller pieces to feed the baby fishes.”
After cutting the fishes, the father started to feed the fishes.
The son saw that the sliced worms were only eaten up by the pair of big fishes.
The son said: “Dad, the baby fishes were not eating the sliced worms.”
The father replied: “Son, the baby fishes were sucking the juice!”
The son LOL.
Two friends, James and John, rented a boat and fished in a lake every day.
One day they caught 20 fish. James said to John, “Mark this spot so that we can come back here again tomorrow.”
The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, James asked John, “Did you mark that spot?”
John replied, “Yeah, I put a big ‘X’ on the bottom of the boat.”
James said, “You stupid fool! What if we don’t get that same boat today!!!”
I do not claim ownership to this joke. I received it from an email. I am sharing them hoping to bring joy and laughter to you – as “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” – Proverb 17:22.
An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.
One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
“If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you.”
The husband texted back to her: “I’m in the toilet. Please advise.”